Infant loss is unimaginably difficult for the mother, but it also has a profound effect on the father. On Day 9 of our November series, we heard Kimmberly’s story of losing her twins. Today, we have the tender privilege of experiencing that season through Rene’s eyes…
Like any man who’s just received the good news that his wife is expecting, Rene was excited – but nervous. While he wondered what kind of father he would be, he reminded himself to rely on God to guide and teach him everything he would need to know. He began thinking of the practical things that would be needed and how he and Kimmberly could best prepare for the arrival of their little one – who they soon learned were two little ones! Rene wanted to do everything he possibly could to make sure that Kimmberly’s pregnancy was going well and that his growing family was taken care of.
When they received the heartbreaking news that they’d in fact lost their twins, Rene and Kimmberly were grateful for a couple in their community group who were able to show up and support them with their presence, empathy, and willingness to sit with them in their pain. This couple shared Scripture with them and reminded them they weren’t alone in their loss and that God was still good, even in the midst of their suffering.
Their community group, friends, and family were their pillars of strength as they continued to check in on Kimmberly and Rene. Their love, prayers, and support reminded them they didn’t have to navigate their grief alone.
Rene’s own words best describe the solace he found in the Word. “The book that really helped us during that season of sadness and grief was the Book of Job. I was deeply moved by Job’s faithfulness to God despite the terrible things happening in his life. He endured tremendous pain and suffering, yet he continued to hold on to his faith. Even when Satan was allowed to test him, God placed limits on what Satan could do. (Job 1:12, 2:6) What really touched me was that Job remained faithful to God even when he didn’t understand why he was suffering. He grieved, cried out to God, and questioned why these things were happening to him. But even in his pain, he continued to bring his struggles before God. Job didn’t know the full picture of what was happening behind the scenes, but his story reminded me that we don’t always understand why we experience suffering. During our own loss, it helped remind me that even when we don’t understand what God is doing, we can still turn to Him in our grief and trust in His sovereignty.”
In a touching letter Rene shared on social media, the heart of a dad for the babies he was unable to hold in his arms on this side of heaven reveals an honest grief, an aching love, a trusting faith, a sure hope in God’s promises, and a peace that passes all understanding.
For the fathers who’ve experienced this unique kind of grief, may Rene’s words comfort and bless you.
“Hi, little ones,
This is your daddy and mommy. We are so sad that we didn’t get to see you born or build a life together as a family. You were already deeply loved by us, your family, and our friends. God decided it was your time to join Him in paradise, and while our hearts ache, we are comforted knowing you are in a better place – safe, loved, and cared for.
We can’t fully understand why God chose to take you both to be with Him so soon, but we trust that His plans are greater than ours. We know that God loves His children, and as Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me…for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’ (Matthew 19:14)
We fully believe that one day, when the time is right, Daddy and Mommy will see you both again. We can’t wait to hear your laughter and share in your joy. As King David said when he lost his child in 2 Samuel 12:22-23, ‘I will go to him, but he will not return to me.’ Until then, just hold on a little longer and wait for us. We find peace in knowing you are together in heaven.
Love,
Mom and Dad
Until we meet again”
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Lord, when men long to be godly fathers, they have only to look to You as their perfect model. Thank You for establishing the family in the very beginning of human history, determining that godly men should lead and protect those within their homes. Father, I praise You for the wisdom and beauty of Your holy design. When a woman suffers, the heart of her husband suffers with her. When their children suffer, they lean on and comfort each other. Thank You for being the strength a man needs to grieve and yet still continue to uphold his family. Thank You for the fathers in the world who sacrificially love their wives and children. What a blessing! I praise You, my Father, in the beautiful Name of Jesus, amen. (Genesis 1:28, Ephesians 5:21-25, Genesis 2:24, 2 Samuel 12:24, Philippians 4:13, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Proverbs 23:24, 26)
*****
Thank you for joining in this week’s Scripture memory challenge as we commit to our hearts and minds Psalm 100. This week, we’re adding verse 3 to last week’s passage of Psalm 100:1-2.
“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He Who made us, and we are His; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.” - Psalm 100:1-3 (ESV)
