“Grief and happiness can exist at the same time.” These are the remarkable words of my friend Kimmberly, and this is her story…
Kimmberly and Rene moved to the DFW area in 2021. They were new to our church when they found out they were expecting, and being in the early stages of pregnancy, they quietly shared their good news with only their close friends, family, and community group.
Although twins didn’t run in their families, the couple joked about how much fun it would be to have two little ones to raise at the same time. Kimmberly took it a step further and actually prayed for twins!
Beyond the usual joy of a first OB visit, the surprise was that there were indeed two babies in there, and Kimmberly and Rene were thrilled! But two babies meant transfer of care to a high-risk pregnancy specialist so that appointment was scheduled for a few weeks out.
Kimmberly enjoyed her pregnancy. No morning sickness for her! She appreciated the changes her body was experiencing and marveled at how God had fashioned her body to protect and grow new life – two new lives!
They did realize a larger vehicle would be needed so the day before the appointment with the specialist, they traded in their Honda Civic and purchased an SUV. Things were getting real!
Rene accompanied Kimmberly to that appointment. Preliminary bloodwork and an ultrasound were done before meeting with the doctor. When he finally came into the room, he was gentle but straightforward. He reviewed the ultrasound with them – babies still there but no blood flow. The bloodwork indicated there was no longer life present in Kimmberly’s womb.
Kimmberly describes what happened next as something only the Lord could do. She and Rene walked hand in hand to their car, crying but not feeling overly emotional. She says the numbness she felt was a comfort from the Lord. The two of them were overcome by a supernatural peace – “a peace that gives you the strength to get up and walk out of the room.”
A D&C was scheduled for a few days later. God had blessed Kimmberly with an exceptionally compassionate OB, but Kimmberly really struggled with the idea of the babies’ bodies undergoing the trauma of the procedure. In what she saw as God’s mercy, she passed them naturally at home the night before she was to be admitted to the hospital.
For a young woman, Kimmberly had already experienced more death than most her age. She lost her dad when she was only 14 years old. Her grandfather passed away during COVID. She lost a beloved cousin to suicide only a couple of years ago. And now her babies…
The tears would continue to come, but Kimmberly and Rene didn’t face their loss alone. One couple in particular walked very closely with them during the pregnancy and afterwards, blessing them with their much-appreciated gifts of simple presence and time. Two separate friends unknowingly sent them identical “hugs in a box” – thoughtful gifts packaged to comfort and encourage their friends. Kimmberly saw that a set of these gifts was a sweet sign of the Father’s love in losing her two babies.
And Rene – her rock. The couple never questioned God, and Rene reminded Kimmberly that the babies were and always had been God’s children and were now safe in His arms. He and Kimmberly immediately plugged into Scripture, being comforted by 2 Samuel 12:23 and David’s experience in losing his own son. They rejoiced (and still rejoice) in the hope of one day being reunited with their twins in heaven.
There are days of remembrance that still catch Kimmberly and Rene tender in their sorrow – the date they found out they were expecting, the date they found out they’d lost the twins, the babies’ due date. But just as when they left the specialist’s office and God met them there, they still rest in the fact that God carries, comforts, and covers them with His supernatural peace on those difficult days.
Kimmberly and Rene claim Psalm 34:10, reminding them that “those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” They rejoice with friends having babies. On Sunday mornings, you can find them in a preschool room serving the little ones of our church. Their smiles are wide, their joy is contagious, and their praise for the One Who’s walked with them through this dark valley and seen them through to the other side is genuine.
They’re living proof that indeed, “Grief and happiness can exist at the same time.”
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Father, because You experienced the death of Your Son, Your comfort above all others is sweetest for those who’ve lost a child. Thank You for sending the Comforter to sit with the grieving in their lowest moments. You record their sorrows and capture their tears in Your bottle. Thank You for sharing King David’s experience in Your Word so others could know the hope he had even in the loss of his own son. Thank You, Jesus, for welcoming the little ones. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. What a precious promise – that one day these parents will see their children again! How tender and near You are to the brokenhearted! Thank You for never leaving or forsaking them. Praising You for Your deep, deep mercy. In the beautiful Name of Jesus, amen. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, John 14:26, Psalm 56:8, 2 Samuel 12:23, Matthew 19:14, Psalm 34:18, Deuteronomy 31:8)
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Thank you for joining in this week’s Scripture memory challenge as we commit to our hearts and minds Psalm 100. This week, we’re adding verse 3 to last week’s passage of Psalm 100:1-2.
“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He Who made us, and we are His; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.” - Psalm 100:1-3 (ESV)
